Let me go on and tell you the truth of what happened in those quiet hours of the morning.
God caught me. Not in a bad way, but in that gentle but powerful way He deals with me when I am finally still enough to hear Him.

I had to face something in myself. Something I did not even realize I was doing.

I have been holding back from God.

Not because I do not love Him. Not because I do not trust Him.
But because surrender requires exposure. It requires honesty. It requires letting God touch the parts of you that you do not have language for.

And if we want to be real, I am not the only one who does this.

So many of us want God to stay small and familiar. We want the God we already understand. The God who fits inside a verse we already memorized. The God who behaves like the sermons we already heard growing up. A God who will not stretch us, push us, mature us, or challenge the small view we have been holding.

We want God to fit inside our box, instead of realizing we were created to fit inside His vision.

Look at Moses. He is the perfect example.

Moses questioned everything. Moses doubted himself. Moses straight up asked God why He would pick somebody like him. He did not feel qualified. He did not feel capable. He did not feel confident.

But God did not shrink Himself to Moses. God expanded Moses to match the calling.

Western Bible. Exodus chapter 3, especially verses 11 and 12.

Ethiopian Canon. The same story appears with even more depth in the Book of Jubilees where Moses’ purpose is described long before he is born.

And let me pause to say this, because I know it makes some people uncomfortable.

When I bring up the Ethiopian Bible, folks start thinking I am trying to replace scripture or introduce something strange. No. I am not adding anything. I am uncovering what was already there.

The Ethiopian Bible came before the Western one.
That is historical fact.

If the earliest followers of God used it, taught from it, and preserved it, why would learning from it be considered dangerous now. If it deepens my understanding of the same God and the same Word, why would I ignore it.

Western Bible. Isaiah chapter 55 verses 8 and 9 remind us that God’s ways and God’s thoughts are higher than ours.

Ethiopian Canon. In First Enoch chapters 93 and 94, God reveals to the prophet a timeline so wide and so detailed that it shows humanity’s story through ages, not just moments. It is a reminder that God has been thinking far ahead of us long before we were even here.

I am not abandoning the Western Bible. That is my foundation. That is where I began. That is the Word I grew up on. I will always learn from it.

What I am doing now is expanding. Comparing. Studying. Listening. And being humble enough to admit that God is bigger than the limited version of Him I used to carry.

The interesting thing is this.
The same Jesus.
The same God.
The same truth runs through both canons.
The difference is that one did not take anything out.

So when I post a Western scripture without mentioning the Ethiopian one, it is because the message matches. When I reference the Ethiopian canon it is because it adds insight without changing the truth. I am not doing this to argue or to stir controversy. I am doing it because I want to grow. I want to stretch. I want to stop pretending that God fits inside the borders we drew for Him.

Look at Peter.

Jesus did not call Peter to walk on water while he was standing in certainty. Jesus called him while everything around him was unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Peter did not sink because of the storm. He sank because he looked back to the familiar instead of staying focused on the One who was stretching him forward.

Western Bible. Matthew chapter 14 verses 22 through 33.

Ethiopian Canon. The Book of Clement references the same Peter and reminds the early church that true faith will always require stepping out of what feels safe.

I do not want a small God.
I do not want a small life.
I do not want a small calling.

I want the God who spoke galaxies into position.
The God who breathes on things I cannot see yet.
The God who moves in dimensions beyond human logic.
The God who has been trying to expand me while I have been trying to shrink Him to my comfort level.

So today I am surrendering.

I am done holding back.
I am done playing safe spiritually.
I am done acting like God is only allowed to move in the ways I already understand.

I want His fullness.
I want His depth.
I want His scale.
I want every corner of who He is.

Break every box I put You in, Lord.
Break every box that was handed to me by religion fear comfort or tradition.
Break the boxes in me and break the boxes around me.

I am ready.
Expand me.
Stretch me.
Lead me where You want me to go.
I will not apologize for wanting more of the God who made me.